Negative Rejection

I'm really close to being ready to give up.

Yesterday, I received my adjudication sheets from GTC. I clearly didn't pass.

Today, I found that I wasn't cast in any of next semester's shows. Again.

Maybe I should change my major. Maybe this is just a hint for me to pick something different. "You love it, but you suck." Maybe that's the message.

Unlike other majors, getting A's in all your classes, being well-liked by your professors, involving yourself in extracurriculars ISN'T ENOUGH.

What is enough? When is it time to just throw in the towel?

Is it now?

3, 2, 1

One. More. Audition.

Then I'll be done! Miracle of miracles!

Last weekend I went to Columbus for that GTC audition. It was absolutely terrifying. 250 auditionees, 30 in a group, 90 seconds per person. I felt confident about it afterwards, but I don't think I passed. It was a good experience anyway.

I had forgotten though how ridiculous theatre people are. I hadn't gone to a theatre conference like that since high school, and it hit me just how laid back the majors of the UGA theatre department are. They are just as equally talented and passionate, but they aren't as....Uptight? Intensly competitive? High and mighty? Full of themselves? That is the reputation of a theatre student at most artistic colleges. Their departments are beautiful, their facilities are state of the art, they have all the money in the world. And they think they are hot stuff.

I've come to realize that as much as we gripe and complain about out lack of funds and lack of performance spaces at UGA, these hardships actually make our shows better. Really. When you have anything and everything, there is no need for creativity. You have it all, so your shows look like little cookie cutters. Here, we have to stretch. Our faculty came from professional theatre in New York, most of them have their PhD or at least their masters in theatre. They are extraordinarily knowledgeable and creative. Every show done at UGA is different. Different from the mainstream, more avant-garde. Because most props are found, costumes are sewn or thrifted, light instruments are limited, the emphasis of the show is on the acting and the directing. The Grapes of Wrath, one of this season's unproduced shows, is a wonderful example of this. (An unproduced show is one which receives even LESS money than the rest of the shows. And by less I mean $0. Literally.) All sound effects were created offstage, actors bought their own costumes at thrift shops, props were picked out of the garbage. A car was built onstage using scraps. It was absolutely incredible. Despite the lack of funds, the show was one of the best I have seen in years. The acting was fantastic and the creativity unparalleled. UGA rocks theatre. No matter what anyone says.

So tonight I audition, once again, to be a part of one of next semester's shows. Three minutes. Two contrasting monologues. One more time.